


what’s in a name? a lot of stupidity.

by Nottodaylogic (MandaloreArtist)



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Aliases, Bank Robbery, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, anyways read it hopefully you’ll laugh, meet sana i made zir specifically for this i love zir, thank the penumbra mini bang discord for this, this is just crimes and nonbinary confusion from an oc who works at a bank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21795673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MandaloreArtist/pseuds/Nottodaylogic
Summary: “Hello, I’d like to make a withdrawal?”“Papers?” The man handed the slip over with ease. “Let’s see, Mr…” Sana squinted at the paperwork from behind zir glasses. “Banks?”“That is my name, yes.”Sana blinked slowly. “This isn’t a joke, is this?”(aka “wrecks glass” lost a bet or something and gets rex-ed)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 59





	what’s in a name? a lot of stupidity.

“Next.”

The man at the front of the line stepped forward. He walked gracefully over to Sana’s desk, looking slightly sheepish. “Hello, I’d like to make a withdrawal?”

“Papers?” The man handed the slip over with ease. “Let’s see, Mr…” Sana squinted at the paperwork from behind zir glasses. “Banks?”

“That is my name, yes.”

Sana blinked slowly. “This isn’t a joke, is this?” 

Ze examined at the man in front of zir. He was an… artsy… hipster dude, complete with ‘better-than-you’ posture and intentionally-nerdy glasses. He didn’t look like a bank robber.

He looked like a… random guy… who wanted to withdraw… an amount of money… from a bank.

“It’s a family name,” Robin Banks sighed. “Unfortunate, but, ah well. What can you do?”

“I can imagine,” Sana said slowly as ze flipped through the papers.

“Before you say anything, I’ve heard all the jokes, could we just… move past it? As you can see, I have the form all filled out and ready. We can just get this over with quickly.”

“Of course.” Sana glance down at the amount of money he’d written and blinked. “That’s a… substantial withdrawal. From a savings account. Mr. Banks, I’m going to have to make a note of this.”

Robin pouted. “Oh, surely you wouldn’t _have_ to, would you?”

“It’s… company policy?” _Who even_ are _you, Mr. Banks?_ Sana considered paging security for a moment, then mentally slapped zirself. _Wow, Sana. You’re seriously letting yourself get all paranoid just because of his_ name? _Get ahold of yourself. What with how this is going, you’re going to have to apologize._

“Ah, well, I suppose.” Robin sighed, a little dramatically. “I’ll just have to reschedule my manicure. Really wasn’t expecting to lose this bet with my spouse, so I assumed he’d be the one here instead.”

“I really don’t need the details, Mr. Banks.” Sana gestured towards him and pressed a few buttons on the display. “Follow me, then.”

* * *

Sana came into work the next morning to find that all the bank’s money had been stolen.

_What the actual hell?!_

**Author's Note:**

> someone: nureyev robs a bank under the alias “robin banks”  
> me: hold my headphones
> 
> anyways my tumblr is nottodaylogic i live to someday hand out rights as freely as sophie kaner and kevin vibert but for now i will only hand out memes
> 
> (also juno totally came up with the name.)
> 
> (i hope the space crime fam roasted nureyev so hard.)


End file.
